The Unfiltered Truth: 5 Months Into Retirement, Here’s How I Really Feel

Tomorrow will be Thanksgiving. I’m assessing how I feel since leaving the building 5 months ago. When I walked out the door on July 1st. I was filled with joy and at the same time sadness. Joy in the fact that I feel more liberated from my day to day tasks of “work”. As for the sadness, it’s surreal. I’ve enjoyed the years of working and to finally “stop” with what I’ve been doing. And another feeling is also strange. Sadness. Surreal. Strange. (Three “S” notations.) Yes and no, I will not miss my colleagues or the work, but at the same time, I’ve elected to break free from the daily rigors of work to celebrate MY TIME at this stage in my life. I’ve been working since I was a preteen. This I can verify through SSA.Gov which tracks my first paycheck and tax deduction since I first started working. 

It was wonderful to clean my desk. I took in my surroundings and really embraced the moment. I realized I will not be returning on Monday morning. Full stop. Moreover, I planned for this moment for the most part. Plans were made to take trips promptly after leaving my job. On my bucket list of travel was London to be an attendee at the All England Tennis Tournament (Wimbledon). I’ve been a tennis player since I was a junior and watched this event on TV ever since. To finally witness this live was the icing on the cake. I have no regrets on this choice. Also, I spent a longer than normal time back home in Hawaii with family and friends. I was quite subtle in not letting them know I retired. Why? I don’t know, I just wanted to not be seen any different. Some people look at retirees who retire younger than normal as strange. Or they think I’m this totally loaded individual. Few people feel happy for someone who just retired. They dread heading back to work on Monday morning. 

But what I’ve learned in the 5 months is that not working a full-time job is okay. It’s a new adventure for many. The planning was spot on. Yet, when the execution happens, all bets are off because it’s sometimes a roll of the dice. Some of the things I’ve realized is that I felt the need to still work. For this remedy, I ended up working at a few side hustles on my terms and on my time constraints. This helped supplement my income in the interim when pension finally kicks in. Another revelation concerns my structured living. I’d wake up without an alarm clock going off, at times I didn’t know what day it was. My routine was all off. There were days I was unshaven or having breakfast at noon and just watched TV longer than usual. I did not end up wearing a robe all day. I wasn’t sitting on a sofa eating bon bons. The typical stereotype people come to think once you retire.